


Momentary Light

by dulcedinem



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Grief/Mourning, HP femslash, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Healing, Lovechang, Post-Hogwarts, Witchsweekly gift exchange, harry potter femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:43:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21817606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dulcedinem/pseuds/dulcedinem
Summary: Luna and Cho find each other on the eve of the Battle of Hogwarts. Afterwards, they face the consequences together.
Relationships: Cho Chang/Luna Lovegood
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	Momentary Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pygmy_puffy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pygmy_puffy/gifts).



> Written for pygmy_puffy for the Witchsweekly Gift Exchange :) I started out with the intention of keeping this strictly fluff but it quickly evolved into something more. I hope you enjoy!

**The Eve of the Battle of Hogwarts, 1998**

Cho made her way slowly through the maze of strung-up hammocks hanging off the tall columns of the Room of Requirement. Dozens of trunks littered the floor, some half-open and spilling out letters from home, school robes, extra quills. The space smelt musty, like un-washed jumpers, heightened by the fear and anticipation radiating off the gathered students. She hugged her arms tighter and tucked the ends of her coat closer to her body. She hadn’t wanted to come back, not really. But when she had felt a familiar heat against her leg, she knew. The coin had burned hot in her pocket, tucked away for months on end and almost forgotten. But she had kept it with her, just in case. For a moment, she debated not going. She saw Neville’s message and almost pushed it back down. Could she run? Sitting on the edge of her childhood bed, fear and guilt washed over and threatened to swallow her whole. So that was it then. She’d have to go.

When she first arrived, Neville had clapped her on the back, his hand warm through her thick coat. 

“I’m glad you came, Cho,” he grinned, one good eye crinkling softly, the other peering through his swollen eyelids. The skin around his left eye bloomed dark purple and faded green. He squeezed her shoulder gently before moving on to another student.

Cho watched him go, her chest feeling so tight she thought it might split open. Neville had a limp, his hair was matted in places, small scrapes crusted over with blood were still evident across his forearms. She had heard whispers about the Carrows, but this? Shame sucked the air from her lungs. Why hadn’t she come back sooner? She steadied herself against the wall. The cold grey stones felt familiar under her hand and she pressed her palm flat against its rough surface. This was home and yet it wasn’t. Hogwarts still stood, still fighting, and yet everything had shifted. 

She picked out familiar faces amongst the small gathered groups in the room. Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Angelina Johnson, Lavender Brown, the Patils, Katie Bell. Cho scanned past them, looking for Luna. She knew, innately, that she had to be there. Panic edged at her vision as she searched through the sea of faces. She wanted to see her. She _had_ to see her. The faces blurred in and out of focus as Cho moved past them. Some reached out and gripped her arm, and she returned the sentiment. Others nodded as she passed. They all had come. Excited murmurs of younger students mixed with the grim determination of the older members and those who had returned to fight. 

“Cho!” Padma waved her over. 

Cho nodded as she gently pushed through a group of fifth years and towards the circle of Padma, Terry, and Anthony. Padma pulled her into a quick hug and Cho breathed in deeply, her nose pressed against the length of Padma’s long plait. 

“Good to see you,” Padma mumbled against her ear and gently released her. 

Cho managed a quick smile. She hadn’t seen Padma in over a year, but at least she hadn’t changed. Terry and Anthony hugged her in succession. They looked exhausted. Anthony had lines under his eyes that Cho knew weren’t there last year. It was strange seeming them all together out of their school robes. It almost felt like they were about to head out to Hogsmeade for the weekend. Cho would give anything, _anything,_ to be sitting in The Three Broomsticks, a steaming mug of Butterbeer in her hand, surrounded by the soft laughter of her friends. 

“The Tornados,” Anthony gestured towards Cho’s shirt, “nice.” 

Cho couldn’t help but slip into a smile, pulling open her coat to show them the full logo of her favourite team.

“For good luck,” she explained. 

When she stood in the middle of her room, moments away from leaving, the thought hit her. If she died that day or the next, what would they find her in? She rifled through her drawers, pulling out old shirts and jumpers until she felt the soft fabric of her most beloved item of clothing between her fingers. She quickly pulled it over her head. The ‘T’ of Tutshill was almost fully rubbed off, but the faded sky-blue fabric felt right. 

The rest of their conversation went by quickly. Cho struggled to pay attention, Anthony’s and Padma’s voices echoing around her head. She excused herself and broke free from the little circle. She had spotted in the far corner of the room a window charmed to show the view of the Great Lake. She settled herself in front of it, folding her legs under her and losing herself in the dim view. The lake stretched out in front of her, its darkened shores nothing more than faint shapes under the blanket of night. The moon was tucked high up, hidden behind a cloud. It hung like a hooked nail, just a sliver before the new moon. 

Anxiety crept up into her chest, gripping her like a vice. She felt crushed by the heaviness of the past few years, and feelings she had forced down deeply into herself surfaced like curdled milk. She had seen what happened to Katie Bell. Heard about Hannah’s mum, Mr. Fortescue, Professor Dumbledore. Rumours swirled about what happened to Mr. Ollivander in the cellar of Malfoy Manor. When she heard Luna had been there, she felt like she might drown under the weight of knowing. Why hadn’t she tried harder to protect her? 

Cho gulped in air, forcing herself to remain present, to keep her breathing steady. The lake blurred in front of her, tears catching against the curve of her lashes and careening down her cheeks. In the midst of her grief, she heard the soft pad of feet beside her and the rustle of someone sitting down.

“Hi, Cho.” Luna sat close enough that the two of them were shoulder to shoulder. She pressed her knee against Cho’s, her hand reaching out and gently wrapping around Cho’s fingers. 

Surprised, Cho glanced up at her. Luna was so close Cho could smell the faint but familiar scent of earth, sage, and roses. She looked startlingly pale against the dark stones of the castle. Cho's gaze immediately went to the healed scars along her eyebrow, her cheek, her neck. 

“Hi, Luna.” 

Cho closed her hand tightly around Luna’s in response. Relief at seeing her poured through her in an instant. She wanted to throw herself at Luna, holding her tight enough that she could never slip through her grasp again. Words that she had played through her mind for months sat on the edge of her tongue, heavy and unable to push past her lips. Instead, she gripped Luna’s hand tightly. Her fingers felt cold but firm, and Cho tried to focus on the feel of Luna’s hand against hers, letting it ground her. 

She hadn’t expected such a visceral reaction to seeing her again. During Cho’s last year at school, Luna had become her safe haven. After DA meetings, they’d spend hours together in the common room, bent over roles of parchment and talking long into the night. Cho pressed her eyes tightly shut. Images from years ago flashed against her closed lids: _Luna reaching over to brush Cho’s hair away from her face, their arms resting against each other, Luna gently teasing her, listening to her._ Luna had made her feel heard. When Cho left Hogwarts, Luna’s absence in her life had felt deafening. 

“Lots of Wrackspurts in here, don’t you think?” Luna murmured into the silence between them. 

Cho was momentarily taken aback but nodded. She followed Luna’s gaze and noticed flecks of dust gently circling the air, disrupted by all the movement. 

“I suppose, yeah.” 

Cho exhaled the breath she had been holding in, her gaze moving between the lake and Luna. She looked different. Some of the brightness she usually held felt subdued, muted by the events of the past months yet still visible. But her ash-blonde curls still coiled in every direction, falling across her shoulders and down her back. Cho took in her soft gaze, the hardened lines of her jaw, the dip and hollow of her throat. She was wearing a knit jumper with embroidered flowers, and Cho thought it was the oddest but most beautiful thing she had seen in ages. 

“What happened to you, Luna?” Cho breathed, reaching up to gently run her finger along the healing scar starting above Luna’s eyebrow and ending near the top of her ear. She watched Luna inhale at her touch. Cho felt her own chest tighten in response. A year’s worth of longing threatened to bubble over. 

“Things out of my control.” Luna squeezed Cho’s hand, hearing the ache in her voice. She nodded, letting the quiet hang bittersweet between them. “It’s okay to be afraid, you know,” Luna murmured. 

Cho felt warmth bloom in the centre of her chest and curl outwards at Luna’s words.

“I don’t want to be.” Cho tucked a loose strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “I didn’t think we’d actually be here. All those months spent wondering, hearing whispers, not knowing. And now being here, waiting.” Cho’s gaze flickered to the groups of students sitting nearby. “Some of them are so young, Luna. They shouldn’t have to be here, to make this choice.”

“We’re all here for each other though, aren’t we?” Luna looked out over the lake, her thumb moving back and forth over the back of Cho’s hand, pausing with the dip of every knuckle. “And because of that, we all have each other. We won’t be alone.”

“That’s really lovely, Luna.” 

Cho couldn’t pull her gaze away from Luna’s face. When she decided to come today, she thought she could hold herself together. She thought she could put on a brave face. But seeing Luna only sharpened the ache, memories pouring from her and filling her, Luna’s soft voice turning her open like a key. 

“Here,” Luna’s mouth curved into a smile, “I have something for you.” She dragged a faded bag out from behind her and dug her hand around inside. She pulled out a small clear jar, tightly closed at the top and full to the brim with liquid. 

“It’s moon water.” Luna carefully twisted the lid off before pressing it into Cho’s hands. Cho accepted the jar, peering down at the clear water. 

“What’s it for?” 

The water looked unremarkable but it felt cold through the glass. Luna motioned for Cho to drink, waiting for her to finish. 

“My mum taught me how to make it when I was little. She’d make it for me—every month. We’d save it for when we needed it. She’d bring it to me when I was scared, or anxious, or upset. It brings healing. You let it sit overnight, set your intentions, and the moon gifts its energy.”

“Thank you, this is,” Cho paused, her throat tightening against the press of emotion in her chest, “this is very thoughtful, Luna.” 

Luna nodded and adjusted her body so she was closer to Cho. She waited until Cho quietly set the glass back down, taking her hand and gently cradling it in her lap.

“It’ll be alright, in the end.” Luna ran her fingers along the lines of Cho’s palm, tracing the light indents and patterns of her hand. 

“Luna, if anything happens to either of us,” Cho swallowed against the swelling in her throat, “I…I want you to know—”

Luna turned her head, so slight Cho barely noticed it, and gently pressed a kiss to the edge of Cho’s mouth. 

“I wanted you to know too,” she murmured. 

Cho lightly cradled Luna’s chin in her hand, drawing her in, wanting to live in this moment forever. She had wanted this for months. She had wanted Luna for longer. Slowly, she pressed her lips against Luna’s cheek, her forehead, against the thin and delicate curve of her eyelids, flecked with marbled veins. And when their lips met, Cho felt the ache pour out from her. The grief, the longing, it felt dwarfed by the softness of Luna’s mouth, the gentleness of her tongue against Cho’s bottom lip.

Moments later, they ended up with their foreheads resting against each other, the tips of their noses an inch apart. Their breaths came in heavy sighs. 

“We do this together,” Cho whispered.

“All of it,” Luna promised, “together.” 

-

**2 May 2001, Ottery St. Catchpole**

“Hi, love," Cho called. 

She let the wooden door of their small cottage bang shut behind her, creaking on its hinges. Her arms were laden with overflowing and thick paper bags from the grocer. Out from the top of the bags poked green beet leaves (for the Demiguise that lived near their garden and refused to stop snacking on Cho’s carrots), sticks of soft butter, a dusty bag of flour, and piles of apples and lemons that were moments away from toppling out. 

Luna glanced up from her spot at the table, surprised. “Oh, hello.”

Cho watched the startled look on her face ease into a smile. She set the bags down on the counter and crossed the room to where Luna sat, pressing an easy kiss against the heap of her soft blonde curls.

“Alright?” Cho bent down to collect the stray lemon that had rolled from the bag and thudded softly to the floor. 

“Hmm? Yeah, I’m alright.” Luna sounded far away, rolling a quill between her fingers absently. 

“Work was okay?” Cho leaned her hip against the kitchen counter. She noticed Luna’s notes were sprawled across the table, full of rough sketches and quickly jotted-down details.

“Got a bit done.” Luna half-heartedly shuffled the loose papers into a stack. It had been over a year and a half since she decided to undertake naturalist work. She had already managed in a short amount of time to travel to nearby areas in Europe, chasing after creatures and collecting a mass of notes she then organized at home and wrote into articles.

Cho busied herself unloading groceries, sensing Luna perhaps needed a bit of space. She hummed quietly to herself, rubbing apples against the leg of her jeans to coax the dust and dirt off of them, brushing her long braid out of the way. 

“Cho?”

Cho wiped her hands against the tea towel and turned.

“Yeah, Lunes?” 

Luna cleared her throat softly. Her eyes were on her hands, quietly picking at a hole in the hem of her jumper. 

“It’s the second of May, that’s all.” 

Cho exhaled sharply, realizing she had completely forgotten. She had become rather good at forgetting these days. The forgetting seemed easier. It was the remembering part she struggled with. 

On the first anniversary of the battle, a group of them had gathered at The Three Broomsticks, nursing Butterbeers in their hands and speaking in soft tones about those they lost. Ron barely spoke, Harry patted Hermione’s back, Angelina held George, Padma and Parvarti gripped each other’s hands and held Cho’s and Luna’s in the other, and Ginny wept bitterly. It was hard, and dark, and it took Cho weeks to pull herself up from the waves of grief that took her breath away. The second anniversary hadn’t been any better. And now, on the third, she had forgotten. But Luna hadn’t. On most nights, Cho woke to find Luna’s brows knit together in pain, sweat gathering at her hairline. She murmured names in her sleep, begged them to stop, gasping in pain. Cho held her gently through the nightmares. While they had moved on in the day, grief smothered them at night. 

“I don’t think anyone was up for meeting this year.” Luna sighed as she stood from her spot at the table, moving towards Cho until she too was leaning against the counter. 

“Do you feel it, Cho?” Luna’s gaze shifted to watch her.

“Feel what?” 

“Darkness, it’s suffocating. I feel like I’m being followed by a Pogrebin. Like I could fall to my knees any minute.” Luna’s eyes, wide and pleading, found Cho’s. 

“Come here.” Cho pulled Luna close. Her body laid against hers, Cho’s arms wrapped tightly around her. Resting her head against Luna’s shoulder, Cho rubbed her back gently. 

Luna had always said they were the witnesses to what had happened, that they were witnesses to the sacrifices made by so many. As survivors, they had to bear the weight of not looking away. She said that their lives had been brief gifts, given so everyone else could live. Even so, Cho tried her best to shut out the pain of what happened. If she dwelt on it too long, the devastating brokenness of it all threatened to consume her. But Luna saw it all. Cho loved that about her. She faced the beauty of the world and let it catch her off guard, let it surprise her. And she faced the pain, too. She faced it until it brought her to her knees. Cho wanted to gather Luna’s pain, to hold it for her, to lighten the ache. She wanted to make space for her hurt. But in that moment, all she could do was hold her closely and wait. 

-

Cho crept quietly out of bed, folding the quilt back down and holding her breath until she was out of the room, not wanting to wake Luna. She padded barefoot down the stairs of their cottage, carefully avoiding the creaks in the wooden stairs. She found herself in front of the cupboard. Pulling back her hair into a quick bun, she pushed up her sleeves and reached for a number of their old and well-loved glass containers. They clinked together as she packed them into Luna’s favourite leather bag, stuffing in a few bags of herbs and dried flowers on top of them.

_Alright, Luna had said running water was best, hadn’t she?_ Cho rubbed at her temples, trying to remember how Luna had explained it. The stream nearby would have to do. She slipped out the front door, revelling at the feel of soft worn stones and dewy grass beneath her feet. She held her wand out in front of her as she made her way through the nearby field, the light from her wand bathing the path in a warm glow. Cho had always been afraid of the dark. Of sleeping, of dreaming, of seeing the faces of those they lost. But tonight, the darkness felt comforting. She felt calm under the cover of familiar stars they could see brightly every night, now miles away from the lights of the city. They had created a life here together. 

Cho breathed in the night air deeply, filling her lungs with the sharp chill of spring. As she walked, she looked for large round stones, gently levitating them behind her as she walked. The stream took form through the darkness as she approached. She set down her bag, filling the clear containers with water one by one. When each had been sealed, she made her way back home. Each container was carefully laid out on their back porch, now opened and in full view of the moon. She pulled the bags of dried roses out, gently sprinkling lavender and rose petals around the glasses. She sat there for long moments, legs crossed beneath her, saying each of the names of the lost out loud. She sent them her love, her gratitude, her longing. Her voice carried quietly into the night. She gathered the stones around her and quietly pressed her wand into the stone, sparks flying off the tip and fizzling up into the air. After what felt like a very long time, she gathered up her bag and moved back inside, slipping back into bed soundlessly.

-

The next morning, Cho found Luna over the stove. Cho leaned over her shoulder and kissed her cheek, smiling at the familiar sight of little unicorns dancing over the cotton of Luna’s pyjamas. 

“Can I show you something?” Cho felt a shiver of excitement run down her spine. 

Luna blinked in surprise, stifling a yawn and turning off the burner. “Of course.”

Cho grabbed Luna’s hand and eagerly pulled her outside, down the front steps, into the thick of their garden. She pointed to a gathering of large stones laid out gently amongst the tall stalks of yellow hollyhock, sprigs of twining wisteria, the geraniums in their hues of bright pinks. Luna moved towards the stones.

“What’s all this?” she murmured, crouching down in front of the first one. 

“Remus?” Luna ghosted her fingers over the stone, her fingers pressing into the notches where Remus’ name was engraved. Lightly etched flowers surrounded the letters. Luna looked back at Cho with bewildered eyes. Cho smiled, urging her to keep looking.

“And Tonks,” she breathed, nodding towards the next stone. Luna moved slowly towards it, caressing the stone softly. Cho felt tears gather hot against the backs of her eyes.

“And Dobby, and Lavender, and Colin, and Professor Snape, and Fred,” Cho paused as she looked out at the eight stones clustered together in the garden, hidden in the shade of tall flowers, “and Cedric.” The tears streamed past her chin, trailing down her neck. Luna turned to her. 

“To honour them. To remember.” Cho leaned down next to her and pulled out the leather bag. 

“Luna, you showed me it was okay to be afraid. And it’s okay to be afraid of the grief also. It’s alright to be afraid of the darkness.” Cho gently took the lid off the first container of moon water. She slowly watered the flowers near each stone, the soil turning dark as it soaked in. Taking out the last two containers, she passed one to Luna, smiling as Luna met her gaze. Her eyes were rimmed in red, the tops of her cheeks flushed. 

“To healing.” Cho lifted her glass before drinking. 

Moments later, they sat together looking out over their garden. 

“It’s beautiful, Cho.” Luna gripped her hand.

“Luna,” Cho smiled through the persistent tears, “we all lost things, in the war. Those that fought, they gave everything so we could be here. We honour them by loving. By living. And in the end, all of this, it brought me you. You were my gift, Lunes. And I’m really, really grateful.” 

Luna gently wiped away Cho’s tears with the pads of her thumbs, her palms cupping the sides of her cheeks. 

“You were my gift, too.”


End file.
